


jen can be civil, she's just historically chosen not to be

by supercatandfriends



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercatandfriends/pseuds/supercatandfriends
Summary: Sometime after the end of season two, Eleanor gets released from prison. And tries her best to get her fingers back into Judy’s life, thinking she can manipulate her like she used to. What Eleanor wasn’t expecting, was that Jen would be there to push Judy into telling her mother 'no'.(in my world, there’s no car accident and they never found steve’s body so like just ignore the last five minutes of the last episode)
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 13
Kudos: 179





	jen can be civil, she's just historically chosen not to be

**Author's Note:**

> @clearrx7 on tumblr said something about this fic needing to magically appear and i'm pretty good at making things appear (you can believe magic was involved if you wanna, i'm chill with that)

Jen wasn’t sure how she’d gotten herself wrangled into this situation, but that was almost always the case where Judy was involved. When she’d heard Judy was going to drive an hour out of the city to a  _ women’s prison _ to pick up her mother, who had just gotten released, Jen had just… offered to drive her. Like she was involved, somehow. 

Jen waited in the car while Judy walked inside. She’d wanted to go in with her, but had decided against even suggesting it because being this close to a prison was still terrifying for her. She didn’t need a sneak peak of what was surely still her future, certain that karma was going to catch up with her eventually. 

_ Fucking ‘karma’,  _ Jen thought,  _ I have got to stop absorbing everything Judy says.  _

It felt like an eternity before Jen finally saw Judy walking out, trailing a few feet behind an older woman that Jen didn’t recognize but figured must be Eleanor Hale. She looked like Judy. God, she, like,  _ really  _ looked like Judy. Jen briefly wondered what Judy’s father might have looked like for Eleanor to have ended up with basically a cloned child. And then she saw Judy pointing towards her car and she sunk down in the seat a bit like she was hiding. Trying to pretend like she hadn’t been watching them walk out. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Just tell me where you’re staying and I’ll drop you off,” Jen said, frowning. She’d only known this woman for ten minutes and she was already pretty close to kicking her out of the car. Her sickly sweet voice was grating on Jen’s nerves. 

Eleanor looked up at Jen like she’d entirely forgotten she was even in the car. She flashed Jen a disingenuous smile,“Oh! Just drop me at Judy’s house. I told the parole board I’d be staying with her.” 

Jen almost wrecked the fucking car. “You can’t be serious-” 

“Mom, you didn’t!” Judy said, anxiety written all over her face. “I don’t have a house!” 

Jen had to bite her tongue to keep from reminding Judy that  _ yes,  _ in fact she  _ did  _ have a house. Because that  _ so  _ was not the point here. 

“You’re not still living in a car, are you? For god’s sake, Judy, you’re nearly forty.” Eleanor made a face, like she hadn’t lived in a car herself for the first ten years of Judy’s life. 

“She’s forty-two,” Jen said, her face scrunching up in angry confusion. How the hell did this woman not even know how  _ old  _ Judy was? She was the one who’d fucking given birth to her! Jen saw Judy reach across the center console, clearly about to try to calm Jen, but she pulled her hand back before she even actually touched her. Which only served to confuse Jen more. 

“I am actually forty-two,” Judy confirmed, looking a bit ashamed of herself. Jen had to struggle to keep her eyes on the road when all she really wanted to do was stare Judy down until she could figure out why she was being extra weird. And why her mother was such a cunt. “Also, I don’t live in my car. I live with Jen. So you really should have run that one by me before you told them that because it isn’t entirely my call, Mom.” 

Eleanor cleared her throat, changing tactics fast. That fake sweet voice rolling back in to take over. “Well, I’m sure Jen won’t just kick me out on the street.” 

She actually even had the audacity to laugh at the end of that ridiculous fucking sentence. Like it was the most  _ absurd  _ thought in the world that Jen wouldn’t let her stay with them. Like Jen hadn’t heard everything about the cool, fun thirteen years of emotional abuse that Judy got to experience at her hands. 

But Judy was looking at her, a silent plea written on her face. Jen couldn’t quite tell if Judy was asking her to say  _ yes  _ or  _ no _ . She shot Judy a look, hoping she could read the conflict on her face. Because she couldn’t make it any clearer, not when she knew Eleanor was watching their faces in the rearview mirror. 

And she had to make a decision. The decision that was  _ best  _ for Judy was obviously to tell Eleanor that she could live in a cardboard box below an overpass for all she fucking cared. But the decision she was almost certain Judy  _ wanted  _ her to make was to let this woman into their home. So Jen ground her teeth together and gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter and nodded. 

“It’ll just be for a little bit,” Judy said, glancing anxiously between her mother in the backseat and Jen. Like she could tell that they were a volatile combination that was going to explode at any minute. “Just until we can find her somewhere a bit more permanent.” 

“I wouldn’t want to put you out for too long,” Eleanor said. 

_ I’m about to put you out, lady.  _ Jen glanced at the GPS, wondering how much fucking longer she’d have to be trapped in this car. 

* * *

  
  
  


Eleanor had moved into the guest house with Judy. Which Jen figured would be fine, because Judy was basically living in Jen’s room anyway. Or at least, she had been until Eleanor arrived. But she’d very conspicuously started sleeping in the spare bedroom down the hall, as if that was ever even an option they’d discussed. 

Jen had been avoiding Eleanor for the three days that she’d been with them thus far. While also managing to print off about a dozen short-term rental listings and tape them to the guest house door. Judy had very politely asked her to stop doing that when she found out. 

The palpable tension in the house came to a head at breakfast on the fourth morning. When Jen had walked down the stairs in her pajamas and found Eleanor sitting at the kitchen island with Henry. Just acting like she was supposed to be there. And Jen was  _ livid _ . 

“Hey.” Judy came up behind her, a gentle hand on her shoulder. Jen could see the understanding in her eyes and the unspoken apology for putting them into this situation. Even though she really didn’t have to apologize for any of it. Jen wouldn’t have allowed her to  _ verbalize _ an apology, not when it wasn’t her fault. 

“Hey,” Jen mumbled back, still glaring at Eleanor. She managed to pry her eyes away for long enough to look at Judy. Who looked… fucking rough. She had dark circles underneath her eyes and was wearing  _ sweatpants.  _ Jen didn’t even know she owned sweatpants. 

Judy must have noticed her staring at her legs. “Oh! I borrowed your sweatpants. I hope you don't mind.” 

“Uh… nope, don’t mind at all,” Jen said, holding back a comment about how tired Judy looked. That was definitely a conversation for them to have in private. Her worry for Judy almost overshadowed the issue of the abusive cunt sitting in her kitchen with her ten year old son. 

Almost. 

“Morning, boop,” Jen said, a smile plastered on her face for Henry’s sake. “Don’t you need to go finish your homework before Shandy comes over later?” 

Henry looked up, halfway to bringing a spoonful of cereal to his mouth. “I’ve only got a little bit left.” 

“Why don’t you take the rest of your breakfast upstairs and finish it up?” 

“I can eat in my room?” Henry asked in confusion. “Since when?” 

“Since right now,” Jen said, gesturing towards the stairs. “Homework. Go.” 

“Good morning-” Eleanor started to say, but Jen cut her off as soon as Henry was out of hearing range. 

“You’ve certainly made yourself at home.” Jen put her hands on the back of the barstool Henry had left vacant, purposefully towering over the seated woman.  _ See if she fucking likes it _ , Jen thought as Eleanor flinched backwards from the vitriol in Jen’s voice. “How did you even fucking get in here?” 

Jen was certain she’d locked the patio doors the night before. And she damn well knew she hadn’t given Eleanor a key. 

“Henry opened the door for me,” Eleanor said, grinning as she stood up to full height, taller than Jen. “He’s such a sweet kid. Now that other one, though-”

“Don’t talk to me about my kids,” Jen growled, turning away from the other woman. She swiped Henry’s half-full glass of orange juice off the table and walked off. She headed back towards the stairs to go check on Henry and apologize for sending him to his room when he’d done nothing wrong. If she stayed down here for another minute she was going to do something she’d regret. 

But she stopped at the bottom of the stairs when she heard Eleanor speaking to Judy. And she couldn’t help but eavesdrop.

“I don’t see how you live with  _ that _ , Judy,” Eleanor said. Jen rolled her eyes, over the dramatics of having this woman in her house. She was worse than fucking Lorna. 

“Jen’s not usually… she’s just frustrated, Mom,” Judy said, sighing. Jen could hear the water in the sink turn on and the sound of Judy loading the dishwasher with last night’s dishes. 

“She obviously doesn’t want me here. You don’t have to pretend otherwise for my sake. She’s certainly not making the same effort.” Eleanor laughed bitterly. “Easy to understand why she’d feel that way.” 

Jen’s brow furrowed in confusion. She hadn’t thought Eleanor was… self-aware. 

Judy didn’t respond, and Eleanor kept talking. 

“You’ve finally got someone in this house to look out for you, honey. She knows I’m not gonna put up with her treating you like shit in front of me.” 

“What?” Judy said, echoing Jen’s exact thoughts on the matter. Well. Jen’s thoughts had a few more expletives. 

She heard Eleanor sigh, like she was taking pity on Judy. “It’s not hard to see what’s going on here. I’ve only been here a few days and I can already tell that woman’s not good for you. She just wants me to leave so she can go back to how it was before.” 

“That’s not-” 

Eleanor’s voice was soft. Jen could hear the conniving in it, wondering what fucking line she was about to throw at her daughter. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Judy Ann. If she’s hurting you-” 

Jen heard glass shatter and it took her a second to realize that it was her who’d caused it. The glass of orange juice slipping from her hand without her notice. She was shocked Eleanor would even  _ suggest _ \- 

“Jen?” Judy rounded the corner, concern in her voice. “Are you alright? What happened?” 

Eleanor was right behind her. Looking so fucking smug that Jen wanted to pick up the shattered glass and just- 

“Let me get a towel,” Judy said, quickly rushing to the stairs towards the linen closet. 

Jen stepped over the broken glass and made a beeline for Eleanor. She was inches from her face with a finger pointed directly at the other woman’s nose before Judy even made it to the second step. 

“If you  _ ever  _ fucking insinuate that I would fucking hurt Judy, I’ll put you in the fucking ground,” Jen said, anger coursing through her veins. She knew Judy was saying something behind her, but she just couldn’t hear her over the blood pounding in her ears. “And fucking trust me when I tell you that they will never fucking find your pathetic corpse, you motherfucking-” 

Judy had a hand on both of her arms, pulling her away from Eleanor. Jen batted her away, trying very hard not to  _ shove  _ her, not to do anything that might make Eleanor think she’d ever put a hand on Judy. 

“Jen, calm down,” Judy whispered in a panic. Her voice came out like a hiss, so quiet that Jen almost didn’t hear it. There was a begging tone to it that Jen did not care for. “The boys are just upstairs, Jen.” 

“For fuck’s sake, Judy, she can’t just-” 

“You just have to be in control of every little thing that happens in this house, don’t you?” Eleanor said in that grating self-satisfied voice. “I can’t have one conversation with my daughter without you flying into a rage over something that has nothing to do with you.” 

“Nothing to fucking do with me?” Jen yelled back, ripping her arm out of Judy’s grasp. “I’m not gonna let some piece of shit stand in  _ my  _ fucking kitchen and make accusations that I- that I would  _ ever- _ ” 

Eleanor just rolled her eyes at Jen. Like she was a toddler throwing a tantrum in a grocery store. And then she was just fucking  _ walking away _ like she was the bigger person. 

“Judy Ann, I’ll be in my room if you’d like to speak to me,” she said, ignoring that Jen was still on the verge of murder. Walking right back through  _ Jen’s  _ kitchen and out to  _ Jen’s  _ guesthouse that she was very fucking graciously letting her stay in. 

“I never thought premeditated murder would be for me, but I swear to fucking god, Judy, I’m gonna kill her,” Jen muttered under her breath, hyperaware of how  _ loud  _ she’d been a few moments before. She turned around to look at the other woman. 

Judy was  _ shaking _ . Standing there in the entryway in Jen’s too-big sweatpants, she looked smaller than Jen had ever seen her before. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Judy said, her hands clasped at her chest. She didn’t sound like she was angry at Jen for having gone off on Eleanor, though. 

“Trust me, it wasn’t a burden,” Jen said carefully, slowly coming over to Judy and pulling her into a hug; Judy’s hand pressing against Jen’s chest. Jen sighed, willing herself to get it to-fucking-gether because Judy needed her calm more than she needed her angry. She brushed Judy’s hair out of her face with her fingers, trying for soothing but probably failing as her fingers got stuck on tangles. She wondered if Judy had even bothered to brush her hair that morning, given that she clearly hadn’t bothered with much else in terms of self-care. 

“I’m sorry she’s here,” Judy said, pulling her hands out from between them to rub at her own eyes. “Everything was finally  _ good _ and then I invite a fucking monster into our house.” 

‘ _ Our house _ ’ coming out of Judy’s mouth hit Jen like a truck, but she put it aside for the moment, trying to focus on Judy and not on whatever the hell  _ that  _ emotion had been. 

“She invited  _ herself _ here,” Jen reminded her, “It’s not your fault, Judy, you were just trying to… do the right thing, or some bullshit. Not that it’s bullshit. It’s really sweet, actually.” 

“It’s really sweet that I let her walk all over me?” Judy asked in disbelief. “Didn’t you tell me I needed to say ‘no’ more?” 

“Well, yeah,” Jen said, “but I don’t think you’d still be  _ Judy _ if you didn’t always try too hard to help people.” 

Judy pulled herself out of the hug, but stayed close enough that Jen could keep a hand on her arm. 

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Judy said, somehow sounding both hesitant and confident at the same time. 

“Do you want backup?” Jen asked, already feeling that even though she really did not want Judy to have to face her mother alone, Judy probably  _ should.  _ And Jen could always go back and yell at her later if she tried to pull some shit. 

Judy shook her head with a choked laugh. “I don’t think I’d be able to get a word in edgewise with you two in the same room.” 

“Hey, I  _ can  _ be civil. I’ve just historically chosen not to be,” Jen said in mock offense. But she sighed, admitting to herself that Judy was right. Going out there with her would result in a second screaming match and she still  _ did  _ need to go upstairs and check on Henry. Jen said as much before trudging up the stairs into what she was certain was going to be a  _ fun  _ conversation with a ten year old. 

* * *

Jen wasn’t sure what Judy had said to her mother. And Judy had been kind of vague about the whole thing. But Jen also couldn’t really bring herself to care as she watched Eleanor put herself into an uber not even three days later. 

Eleanor had spent the last three days camped out in the guesthouse before coming in and announcing that Judy had found her an apartment and she’d be leaving that afternoon. As if anyone would miss her. 

But as Jen stood on her front porch, she realized that someone  _ would  _ miss her. Or at least, Judy would miss the  _ idea  _ of her. The idea that her mother might improve and they could have something akin to a normal relationship. Sending her away meant that Judy was having to come to terms with that never having been a realistic idea. 

Judy was helping Eleanor with her bags, putting them in the trunk of the car. Jen saw Judy reach out for a hug. Saw Eleanor turn away from it as if she hadn’t seen it at all before getting into the passenger’s seat. 

The car pulled away and Judy walked back to join Jen on the porch, a strangely peaceful look on her face. 

“I’m sorry, Judy. I know you wanted better from her,” Jen said, letting Judy lean into her side. “But I’m proud of you for not letting her drag you back into her bullshit.” 

“Well,” Judy said, dragging the word out and grimacing apologetically. “I did pay the deposit and first month’s rent on the apartment. And co-sign the lease. And call the uber. I don’t know if I would say I completely avoided being dragged back into it.” 

“Judy!” 

“She was in  _ prison,  _ Jen. Her credit score is not great,” Judy said, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. Jen rolled her eyes with no real malice behind it. 

“Whatever gets her out of the guesthouse, I guess,” she muttered, knowing it would take a lot more than one conversation to fully get Judy disentangled from this woman again. But something else was still nagging at the back of her mind. 

“Does this mean that you’re gonna move back out there, then?” Jen asked. Judy jerked her head towards Jen in confusion. 

“Do you want me to?” Judy looked hurt, and she obviously hadn’t even considered doing such a thing. 

“I just- fuck, of course not,” Jen said, wishing she’d kept her dumb fucking mouth shut and just let things be for once. “I just don’t understand why you moved into the guest room of all places. That’s the worst fucking room in the house.” 

“I didn’t want to stay in the guesthouse with my mother,” Judy said, once again using that ‘ _ isn’t it obvious, Jen?’  _ tone that didn’t make any fucking sense to her. 

“You weren’t, though?” Jen said, confusion adding a questioning uptick to her statement. “You were… you just said… Judy you weren’t living in the guest house before she got here. You literally just admitted that.” 

“I wasn’t,” Judy said tentatively. “But I also wasn’t really living in the main house, either, Jen. We never really talked about where I was living. And I didn’t want to assume… and then my mom assumed that- well, she said that, we could share the guesthouse. And I didn’t want to tell her that I hadn’t actually been… sleeping there. For a while.” 

“Oh.” 

“Not that there’s anything like, wrong with that,” Judy was quick to amend. “Because you’re my best friend, Jen and we’re adults and we can do whatever we want. But also, like, you kind of never really... mentioned… that that was, like… what you wanted?” 

“Do you think I would have tolerated you stealing my blankets every single fucking night if I didn’t want you there, Judy?” Jen asked, wondering how she’d ever  _ not  _ made it clear that she wanted Judy there. Every night. Probably for the rest of forever. 

“Oh. Good, then,” Judy said, nodding. “Your guest room really kind of sucks, Jen.” 

“That’s intentional. I decorated with Lorna in mind.” 

Jen relaxed a bit when Judy laughed, the hard and confusing part of the conversation over. For today, at least. Jen knew they’d have to come back to it. 

“We should celebrate!” Judy exclaimed all of a sudden. “A great evil has been purged from this household.” 

Jen laughed with her, following her inside to gather the boys up so they could discuss dinner plans. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


They were laying in bed together later that week, Jen scrolling through Facebook on her laptop and Judy reading a beach novel, when Jen decided to bring it up again. 

Shutting her laptop, she shifted a bit so she was facing Judy, who glanced up at Jen with a smile before going back to her book. She looked better. Calmer. And Jen’s sweatpants had yet to make a reappearance in Judy’s normally put-together wardrobe. 

“See something you like?” Judy asked playfully without looking up from the page. 

“Yeah, but you just had to open your mouth and ruin it,” Jen shot back. It was comfortable, having Judy around. They had gotten themselves into such a fucking  _ domestic  _ routine that it almost made Jen sick. 

But it made her  _ sicker  _ to know she was about to burst their little bubble. “I’ve been thinking.” 

“Dangerous business,” Judy said, smirking. 

“You never really told me what happened with your mom,” Jen said, regretting the words the minute they were out of her mouth. But she couldn’t keep fighting back the thought that she’d made Judy pick a fight she hadn’t been ready for. And that Judy had just gone with the easier option of kicking Eleanor out because it had been what Jen wanted. 

“I told you,” Judy said, finally closing her book and sitting it on the nightstand. “She was negligent and addicted to drugs and I testified against her and it was all a huge fucking mess-”

“Last week, Judy. What happened with your mom  _ last week.”  _

“She got an apartment?” Judy said, tilting her head in confusion. “You were there, Jen.” 

Jen sighed, hating that she was having to drag this out. But god, she needed to fucking know. “Did you tell her to leave or did she make that decision on her own?” 

Judy hesitated, trying to read something on Jen’s face. “It was a… mutual decision.” 

Jen was sure her face showed her disbelief because Judy was quick to retract. 

“I told her to leave.” 

“You didn’t have to do that f you didn’t want to, Judy,” Jen said, thinking hard about how she’d made it pretty fucking difficult for Judy to do anything  _ besides  _ that. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to kick her out.” 

“No, no, you didn’t.” Judy’s hand came to rest on Jen’s knee, comforting in a way Jen wasn’t sure she deserved. “I didn’t disagree with you about her staying here. I just… you know I’m very non-confrontational. But then she was saying all this  _ horrible  _ stuff about you and I just fucking let her have, Jen.” 

“I would have paid to have seen that,” Jen said, eyes going wide at the thought of Judy defending her from Eleanor. She put her hand on top of Judy’s, rubbing her thumb across the back of it. “Thank you.” 

“I wasn’t just gonna let her talk about you like that,” Judy scoffed, like the very idea was unthinkable. “I told her to get out if she wasn’t going to be nice to my family.” 

“Fuck, Judy,” Jen said, quickly looking up at the ceiling and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes, “I told you you’re not allowed to make me cry after 9 p.m.” 

Judy smiled, reaching up to pull Jen’s hands away from her eyes. “You also told me I’m not allowed to make you cry after 9 a.m.” 

“There’s a twenty minute window right after 7 a.m. where I’m fine with it,” Jen said, still blinking her eyes up at the ceiling even though Judy was looking right at her like  _ that _ . Because Judy had defended her and called her family and stood up to her mother for her and  _ ugh, fucking hell, she couldn’t manage her emotions.  _

“You’re usually asleep at 7 a.m. I’m supposed to wake you up so that I can make you cry?” 

“If you think you can live with yourself after that,” Jen said, taking a deep breath to stop herself from sniffling and finally looking Judy in the eye. 

“I really don’t think I could,” Judy admitted. “That’s a pretty airtight emotion-avoidance system you got there.” 

“It’s obviously working.” 

“Oh, of course.” 

“I haven’t had an emotion in years.” 

Judy smiled at her softly before reaching over to turn out the light on the bedside table. Jen let Judy curl herself around her, Jen’s arm wrapped around her waist. 

“I think you have a lot of emotions,” Judy whispered into her ear in the dark. 

Jen frowned in the dark, wondering how much Judy knew about her fucking  _ emotions.  _ “Go to sleep, Jude.” 

“Okay. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jen mumbled, closing her eyes and falling asleep with Judy in her arms. In their house. In their bed. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> once again i'm back at it, making jen and judy cry because i don't know how to write them without making them both cry by the end of it apparently 
> 
> i'm @debbielouocean on tumblr


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